As the year turns to 2010, leaving 2009 and the first decade of the new century behind; it seems right somehow to think about what has changed, what stays the same and how we impact on the world around us.

We cannot avoid change, it is inevitable and yet we have had so much change already since 2000.   We have waged war on everything, from terror to aids, to cancer …. and yet we still seem to be in the grip of every one.  It makes me wonder whether we might want to consider changing the terminology.  Just think about it, there are so many different ways in which we seem to see life as a battle to be fought, should it really be this hard, this difficult.  Might it not be easier to let go, give in and live with what is accepting that change happens.

That is not to say that I think we should just take everything without making an effort to change what we don’t want, but rather that we maybe consider looking on that which happens as a signal that something in our life or world needs to change.  Perhaps if we looked for the meaning behind the events then we may find an easier way to either come to some acceptance of them or alternative way of dealing with them.

2010 is going to be my year for attempting to put this into action, to work with the world and the hand I am dealt, rather than trying to constantly battle against it – coming unstuck and stressed in the process.

I had an interesting conversation this morning with one of my closest friends all about illusion.  Not the sort that is usually done by magicians or illusionists, but about the sort we create for ourselves.  You know, the ones we often called ‘rose tinted glasses’!

Our ‘rose tinted glasses’ ensure that we never really see things for what they are.  We put a gloss and a sheen over sets of circumstances, events and conversations that lead us to believe in something that was never actually there in the first place.  That doesn’t mean to say, this is always a negative, but it’s sometimes worth acknowledging the benefits of having those same spectacles removed every so often.

When we remove the spectacles (or when they are removed from our noses by happenstance) we see things clearly.  We can see what was, what is and what might have been but isn’t.  What we no longer see are the illusions that have been keeping us in a place of denial about the ‘reality’ (if there can ever be such a thing) of a situation.  And yet, illusion can also provide wonder, joy and even happiness; at least for a short time anyway.

I suppose my writing is really about what happens when the illusion is removed, the spectacles set aside and clarity is allowed in.  What one gets is often not what one expects, and it would be very easy to then look around for an easy target on which pin the blame for our current predicament.  But that is hardly fair.  That’s the thing about rose tinted glasses, we have to put them on ourselves; no one forces us to and often no one asks us to either.

Do then, we need to blame ourselves?  Once again, it would be easy to say we were silly, foolish, wrong; all words that make life harder to bear in the long run because they create a burden of unreasonable responsibility that we can never hope to shift.

My preference then is for a simple acknowledgement.  ”This is what was, and for many different reasons this was how the world was perceived for a time.  it is neither right nor wrong, it just ‘is’”.  Acceptance that this is the case, allows us to learn from the experience, file it away in the backpack of our lives and perhaps reflect upon it in the future when we come to a similar (but hopefully not the same) place again.  This is a place of true responsibility for ourselves, it is neither blame nor passive acceptance, it is recognising we have a part to play at every decision made and every journey taken.  In many ways, this post reminds of that quotation that sat for many years on my mothers study wall.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

I now know that much of my life has been lived in illusion for many years, but that this no longer needs to be the case.

I’ve been working with a client for most of the day today and one thing we were discussing was how to track the success of a WordPress.com blog.  In essence we were talking abut the Blog Stats facility that wordpress.com gives you which allows you to see the number of visits your blog has had, the top posts, the top referrers and other useful information.  What was interesting was that we were using this blog of mine as a discussion tool and when I looked, I noticed that the most commonly referred page on my blog is a post I wrote about Lack vs Growth, which was an overview of Maslows Hierarchy of Needs.

Clearly people are searching for this sort of information and so I thought I’d add some more information or opinion in to the general debate and consider how Maslow’s most popular theory relates to business.

Just a quick refresher, Maslow has suggested that there were five basic human needs that needed to be met in order for a person to feel whole and fulfilled in life.  The theory has been expanded and adapted over the years by others to meet almost any type of situation you could imagine., however, the original theory purported that there were five levels:

1. Basic needs for survival
2. Safety and Security
3. Belongingness and Love
4. Self Esteem
5. Self Actualisation

My suggestion would be that the way Maslow’s theory could be adapted for use in business would be to consider the needs as follows:-

1. Having a job – any job will do at this point as it provides money to pay for survival
2. The job must be in an environment that is safe and secure, think Health and Safety!
3. To be part of a team that has a common goal and set of ethics and values
4. To be able to demonstrate that you have an opinion that is heard and valued by the business
5. That work is now self fulfilling in that you are able to fill your potential

This is an over simplification, I know, but  it is something that I think I will return to in the coming weeks as I prepare a presentation for local business network on Groups and their use in Internet Marketing.

Once again it has been many weeks since I’ve posted a blog, and once again I’m trying to excuse myself by saying I’m too busy.  But the reality is that I’m not as organised as I should be and find that I procrastinate a lot.  Anyway, this particular post has been sitting around waiting to be added for some time now and I finally decided I should add it.

There comes a time in each persons life when they must, of necessity, confront those aspects of themselves and how they live within the world that are less than pleasant.  Some might call this the dark night of the soul, the time at which we see ourselves as we truly are and recognise that something needs to change for without that change, life will lose it’s meaning , it’s joy, it’s integrity and even it’s ability to keep us alive.  If we never face up to the demons that life brings to our attention, then we can lose the will to life itself.

This is a moment in life when have the opportunity to begin to create magic and force the process of creation itself.  To transform ourselves, the relationships and interactions we have with the world must become a process of development.

Imagine a world if the truly great amongst us had never faced their demons and called into question all that they were being told was ‘true’ by the world and society around them.  Imagine too, a world where the fundamental laws had never been discovered by those men and women willing to challenge all that went before and the world as they then knew it.  Without such fearlessness we would still be in the dark ages indeed.  And yet, it is only out of these dark dreams that real and lasting change starts.

I face a time like that now.  A time when everything that has gone before is now questioned because my faith in myself, my God, my relationships has been challenged and it has found ME wanting.  And yet I recongise that even in those moments of quiet despair that I am learning, growing and developing and I begin to see many glimpses of the person I may become in the future, as well as of the life I may live.

I am a gardener, I sow seeds and tend them, even if they are seeds of stinging nettles for even stinging nettles have their place in the divine order of life.

The dark night represents ‘fear’, fear of so many things.  The things that bite and stings, that burn and kill us.  The fear of our own inadequacies and limitations.  To go beyond the dark night is to go beyond fear.  To accept that fear is what may be, not necessarily what is.

To overcome fear, one needs to find a faith that allows us to recognise that we are all masters of our own destiny and the power to initiate postive and lasting change in our lives.  But, we can only do this when we have faced the fear and recognised (and accepted) that we too are human and susceptible to the frailities of the human condition and that this is still ‘OK’.

I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.
Albert Schweitzer,

I’ve spent the day at a workshop with Stephen and Valery Cobern working on conquering fear in my life.  There is so much to say and yet nothing at all, but during the course of the day I was reminded of Marianne Williamson’s oft mentioned quote from her book ‘Return to Love’ and thought I’d share it below:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

And in those few words, lies the heart of the matter.  I finally realised today that I have spent a long, long time not putting some things into action simply because they conflict with the view that I hold of myself that I’m not good enough, because if I was good enough I’d have to live up to my potential.  Enough said I think!

Anyone that writes on a regular basis will know that it is almost essential to have a ‘voice’, a way of speaking to your audience that is authentic to who you are and what you do.  I have been a writer for many years and have never had a problem with finding my voice until recently.  I was aware that I wasn’t writing and although I was concerned, I refused to allow it to bother me because I knew that if I fretted and frowned, that I would push my words even further away.

Until last week that is, when ironically I did actually lose my voice and couldn’t speak.  It was almost as if the universe were handing me an opportunity to realise that I wasn’t speaking my truth either verbally or in writing.

I had a presentation to give on the Thursday and was really concerned that my voice wouldn’t hold up for the duration of the meeting that I needed, but fortunately it did and I got my point across.  In the self same meeting were two other presenters who really struck a chord with me and suddenly I was inspired, in a way I haven’t been for many months and I suddenly knew what I was going to write about in for the foreseeable future.

So, I’ve spent a large part of the time since Thursday, plotting and planning just how to make the most of the opportunity that now presents itself and here I am, back on my blog writing.  I feel energised, invigorated and alive once again …. losing my voice (both physically and metaphorically) has been something of a cathartic experience it seems, because so many things have changed that needed changing in my life.  Things that were destructive and hurtful are now becoming healthy and positive, those that were confusing and intimidating are now clearer and less frightening.

In short, it seems that my ‘voice’, both literary and verbal, was denied because I was denying things and refusing to speak what needed to be spoken.  Now that I have said what needed to be said, miracles occur and my writing starts again.

According to Jonathan Cainer – “Jupiter moves into a different sign today. From now until early in 2010 it will pass through Aquarius, creating great potential for growth and success for all born under this sign. It heralds a time of joy, inspiration and hope, though it could also imply a tendency for water bearers to overfill their jugs and become worn down with the weight. Generally, though, Aquarians can expect great things to happen soon. And as Aquarius governs wisdom, vision and strategy we may all yet benefit from life in a world where more people rise above petty squabbles and passing passions”

All in all, I take that to mean I’m in for a fabulous year.  If you want to find out what’s in store for you too, visit his website at www.bubble.com.

Is it possible do you think to ‘learn life’?  I know that there is an education push to teach children ‘life skills’, what ever that may mean, but as adults do we learn life as we live it?  This is the question I’ve sort of been posing myself off and on for some months now.  What is it that makes us who we are, what we then do and how we live life and in that WHAT, do we learn life in the process?

My own belief is that life is for living, not for enduring – but I look back over recent events and find that I’ve been doing quite a lot of both and not necessarily with the most positive of results.  So, I now find myself in a place where I’m examining my behaviour minutely, trying to understand all the if’s, but’s and maybe’s of it and not really reaching any conclusion except that I hope I learn from all of this.  I am accepting of the fact that things have happened, that the outcomes have been much, much more positive and happy than I might have reasonably expected and that I am being given another chance to put some things right.

Life has a habit of throwing the odd spanner in the works every now and then, and I guess the challenge is to get up, dust ourselves off and try again to be the person we would most like to be, the person we know we are inside.  As one of those people closest too me said this morning, “the sky got all bright this morning and amazing things happen”.  He’s right of course, the sun does come, the world turns, we continue to live our lives and in the course of them have a chance to experience deep joy, peace and happiness when we only look at what riches we already have, and share, in our lives with others.

If there is one thing I have learnt about this thing called ‘life’ it is that it is constant, it is to be savoured, enjoyed and lived to the full with those you care about the most; and in the process of doing that we will all begin ‘learning life’.

A couple of friends have recently been caught up in a dilemma that I’ve been unable to help them navigate through.  They asked me what I would do in the same circumstances and I had to say, that I couldn’t say what I would do because how I am is different to how they are and my actions and reactions are based on completely different backgrounds, ethics, morals and upbringing.

But, it’s hard because I want to be able to help – one friend recently referred to me as Thunderbird 3, probably because I tend to get involved.  The problem is that I know both friends, I know the others involved and I can see that there is no easy conclusion to the whole problem – so where do I go, if I help one am I rejecting the others?

I’m sorry to be so vague about what this is, but having had to deal with something very similar in my own life with friends who decide to take sides, I’m not prepared to do that to those I care about.  Perhaps I should just say “I’ll sit on the fence and be here in a way that is as impartial as I can be”.